Happy One Month to the Happy Marshmallow! If you are a highly perceptive person you will note that there were 31 days in May and only like six posts here, meaning that I guess I haven’t been as devoted to the blog as I originally planned to be. It is just really difficult to find the time when you’re so totally busy and popular, am I right? Seriously, let me know because I can’t say that either of those are reasons behind my lack of posting.
If I were asked to pinpoint a reason, I’d have to say it is due to my acute depression over the realization that I’m far from becoming the next great Chicken Whisperer. It’s always disheartening when you have to cross off another life goal from your list but I imagine that one of the first qualifications to obtaining this honor is getting chickens to not only obey your commands but actually like you. This past weekend, while house/animal sitting for my parents, I found that I have no gift with either of those things. I mean, my dad makes feeding his chickens and putting them in for the night sound so easy that I wasn’t concerned about doing it myself…yeah, I’m sure you can assume at this point how the experience went.
First off, I thought my dad had maybe five chickens but the count seems to be closer to 52. This meant that even IF they didn’t hate me, getting them into the coop and shutting the door took about 60 minutes and twelve texts/calls to my brother asking for advice, a gigantic scoop of their food, a bucket of grass (yumm), a bloody toe (I guess they thought it was chicken feed, totally see the resemblance) and full-blown
tears groveling. I almost decided to call it quits and let them fend for themselves overnight but at the last minute they all kind of shared a knowing look and casually walked into the coop on their own accord. I am pretty sure I saw a couple of them high-winging each other which was rude and uncalled for but at that point I was beyond calling them out.
Long story short:
In happier news (and because it wouldn’t be a blog post from me if I didn’t mention the show) our favorite bachelorette has been making some real headway these past two weeks in finding her
Flavor of the Week True Love. I mean, these guys have really been put through the ringer lately…getting interviewed by Emily’s BFFs, being forced to play with random children on a playground, scaling buildings, dancing in public, sailing boats in the middle of a wind storm…we have truly started separating the men from the boys. The guys have also started separating themselves into groups of Younger than 30 vs. Older than 30, with the latter claiming they are far more mature and wise than everyone else. Hey, I get this–I definitely think I’ve grown up a lot in the last five or so years buttttt I also think it’s hard to compare maturity levels and base it solely off of age. Life changing experiences can hit you at any point so generalization on this matter just doesn’t work. Maybe we will be able to leave this one up to actions vs. words?
The only real mystery at this point for me is why Emily is still keeping some of them around after stuff they’ve been saying/doing/not saying or doing. Like Kalon (“I love it when you speak but I wish you’d let me finish”), Alejandro (he’s spoken on camera a total of five times), and the egg guy (I don’t even remember his name?). I have no idea why people are so negative towards Ryan though! Don’t most girls love being referred to as a trophy wife or told they must never gain weight in a relationship?? The only shock involving him at this point is how he is still single; good thing he informed us of his plans to be the next Bachelor when things don’t work out with Emily. The line starts to the left, ladies!
In any case, it’s nice to have all of this relationship turmoil balanced out by the Miley Cyrus love story: nineteen years old and just got engaged to her on and off celebrity boyfriend of three-ish years.
Talk to you guys later–I need to go bang my head against the wall now.